jacked01 | Emergency room

Well today was the day we took Helen to the hospital, not knowing if we will pick her up, the doctors were not very hopeful. our time here in this dingy little apartment we have been using for her death watch is almost over.

I know there was a show about a house and then went back in time and showed all the people that lived within those walls and their stories. It made me think about how many different dramas unfolded in this place.

I know the people before us were new to the country and were looking to make a new start, I wonder who else will be here after we leave.
the house is not ready yet, they do have the 2nd floor on and I am going to go pick up the marble tile for the bathroom, so it should not be too much longer till it is done.

I kinda wish Helen would be around to see it finished but I don't think that is going to happen, Bill is in denial about the whole thing. weird how different people handle things in a different way every time.

I know we are paid here till the end of April and will have to keep all the stuff here till then I'm really wishing that the house will be done just so we don't have to move it all into storage.

I hate moving, we have to move from our house with all our stuff. then move this place, everything will be in the way and it will take forever to get caught up..

I'm so fucking tired right now. Bill and I both are just emotionally drained I could give a rats ass about world events socializing or anything, I just want to get away from the smell of this place.

The air around us feels like water when we walk, constant resistance. When we sleep we fall into each other and sigh and melt into one pile of flesh, we hold one another up.

I look into a mirror and see an old man now, I'll be 40 in two weeks but feel like I'm sixty, Bill is the same way.

THings to look forward too:

going on a vacation after this

getting the new house in order

going back on the road and making some good money again